Thanks for reading, first of all. This is the story of me. It will also be the story of my family, my daily parenting mishaps, my health issues, my happy moments and my frustrations.
I'm Mommy. I used to have another name, another job, and another life altogether. Now, I'm Mommy all the time. I feel like I need to say this- I absolutely adore my girls. But there are lots of times when I'm lonely and wonder if I could hold a conversation with an adult about something other than our kids. I sometimes wonder if my husband sees me as his wife, the woman he chose to be with forever or if he forgot all that crap.
Being Mommy is isolating. My older girl, Bear, is 6. She is a very polite and considerate little girl. Still, she has never voluntarily given up watching iCarly so that Mommy can watch Steve Wilkos. If I don't immediately hug her when I pick her up after school, she says, "What? You're not glad to see me?" Well, darling...sometimes, not so much.
In fact, it is now time to pick her up from school. Nono, my baby (who turns 1 next month), has been asleep for a good 4 minutes. This should be fun. I'll pick up on this train of thought when I have a minute. If.
I tried to get Nono back to sleep when we got home, but that didn't work very well. She decided to crawl around the house for awhile. Bear wanted to drag a doll cradle out of basement obscurity to play with, but at least that will keep her occupied for a bit.
I finished this whole post, then Blogger ate it. Awesome welcome, Blogger. So I'm going to try to remember what I said.
I read a lot of blogs when Nono naps in the morning. I got her very creative nickname from the only thing I seem to say to her lately. I love the sense of community bloggers seem to have, and since I don't have the opportunity for regular adult interaction, I hope to find some. I'm not always politically correct, and I know I'm not always the perfect mom or wife. I just hope to be able to be honest, share experiences, and maybe even help someone.
In addition to Mommy, I am C's wife. C is the most caring, gentle, generous, funny, terrific man I have ever known. He gave up a lot to be with me and I appreciate him for it. He is not Bear's original father, but you would never know it by observing the two of them. He is incredibly laid back. If I were him I'd be a stress case. C works 6 days a week, from before the girlies get up until after they are asleep. I see him for an hour or so most nights. Sometimes Nono wakes up early and he gets to change her diaper before tossing her on a boob. Lucky man.
I also have type 1 diabetes. I've had it for almost 24 years. Although there were some years when I wasn't the perfect patient (college), I've always been pretty good. Still, after 24 years and 2 babies, my body is kind of pissed at me. My kidneys are starting to show some damage, although nothing horrible. The nephrologist suggested an ACE inhibitor, but I'm still breastfeeding Nono and he said a few months won't make much of a difference. After Nono was born, my eyes went weird and I've been having laser treatments for retinopathy. It sucks, but I try not to mind. If it helps me continue to see my family, I can't complain.
My other issue right now is that I'm fat. Not huge, but uncomfortable. After Nono was born, I dropped weight very quickly. Then I had real problems with my milk supply because I wasn't eating. But when I tried to eat again, no matter how healthily, I just got fat. I try to limit my intake of calories and carbs. I currently eat one meal and one snack every day. I need to find some time to exercise, but it's hard. I don't have anyone to watch the girls, and it's now too cold out to walk outside with them.
I guess that's enough for one post. I hope someone reads this!
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